I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
