Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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