matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
