smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
