turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
