Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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