Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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