She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think my moral compass just broke
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
