Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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