so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
