i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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