he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So squirting runs in the family.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
