i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
