Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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