D3 body, D1 cock
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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