She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
