It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm at about main and main street
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
