you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
