end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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