HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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