I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would ride that face into the sunset
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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