mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
