Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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