There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
