took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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