my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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