Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
