Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
