I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
