He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
