My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
