He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
