I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
