he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
