he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
MIDGETS
????
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
