i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
