I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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