Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
