Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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