I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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