Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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