My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
