I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
