i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
