when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
