You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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