my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
