Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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