I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
