so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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