I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
