grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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