Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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