I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
